I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
