i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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