im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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