shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't turn off my feet"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
