Screwed.edu
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize