So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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