I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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