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• (650): View more from California

  Your face is a jimmy john

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah

  (772): View more from Florida

  I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint

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