let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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