Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
