The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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