I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
