Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
