there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
