Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
