Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
