I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
