perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
