oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
