I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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