Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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