guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
