I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
