But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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