we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
