It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Are we still banned from the library?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
