Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
