You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
