How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
