my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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