have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize