Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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