He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
