Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
