Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize