And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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