my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
