Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just had sex bonerless
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
