I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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