Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
