I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
