Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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