Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so that wasnt chicken after all
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
