Me. At least after what I've been through.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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