You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
