apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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