You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
