i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
