I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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