I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
