Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
