Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
