i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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