There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
