I'm really into asian looking animals
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
