so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
