Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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