bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you didnt know i had herpes?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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