Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
