Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
