3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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