my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
