I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The uberlube is also flammable
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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