craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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