i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
