you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
