I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
